Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
