yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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