Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
