I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
