Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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