Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
