This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
