I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do herpes really smell.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
