I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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