i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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