The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
