forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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