Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
