Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I party with great urgency now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
