I'm gonna have a badass scar
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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