he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
