He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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