Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i came on her dog
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
