talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
