You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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