I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's just so happy...and so naked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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