yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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