ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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