just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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