I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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