two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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