i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
