This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
