i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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