and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
