I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
