Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
