He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
