I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
