No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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