i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
