i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
