paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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