I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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