One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
