playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
