We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Your dad touched me again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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