I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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