Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
