i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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