She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
