her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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