Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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