Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
