If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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